Redirect

Please update all your links/rss feeds etc... to: http://allsaidanddone.com this blog now resides there and shall be updated there (NOT HERE) please excuse the frequent change of templateish stuff as I stuff around and ignore the bits that are there that shouldn't be. big thanks again to Geoff!

Slinky Malinki

Check this out! The world might finally be coming to some sense. The refusal of 'too skinny' models is the best news I've heard in ages for this kind of crap . (I don't follow the fashion world at all and generally regard with huge contempt.) Lets see, if this takes off - I might even allow myself to look in the occasional magazine when I find myself in a waiting room. Mind you... I'll have to add an extra 5 years so the subscription dates are old enough to make it there.

All Said is Moving!

So some recent investigations into moving across Wordpress have extended to the greater application of shifiting not only the blog, but aquiring such a thing as a domain name. Of which I am utterly indebted to an 'almost' present from Geoff (I think he's pretty good! Now go read his blog!). So... be on the look out for: allsaidanddone.com (when it gets through and when I get to putting things up). This blogspot address with cease to be updated when this happens, so while you remember, update your feeds and your links (so I still get your traffic :P). And so comes room for redesigning... I think I'll probably keep things relatively familiar. Any suggestions, please shoot them my way.

Investigating

Hello readers who WILL comment. I am investigating the possiblity of either going with Beta Blogger (which I haven't dared to try yet) or wordpress. Wordpress Trial with potential to be used can be found HERE. I have imported my posts (so it can be done, comments included) and stuffed around with a few categories. Oh and is there any way to get around customising my template more than just the header image without having to pay? What say you?

Taking the ribbon off the box

Last Wednesday Stephen Said came to 'guest speak' for young adults. We - as I somewhat expected, explored the wider implications of living out our theology - to pin a cliche theme on it: social justice. As small as my 'practical application' for this is, my challenge, my red button of the evening was pushed good and hard. Something I'd been thinking about for a while really. About 6 months to a year ago I stopped watching the news. Too much, too depressing, too little time. Through the course of the evening's discussions, I lighted on a curious parallel (but a static one, because in my mind parallels just keep on going forever). I talked to God about compassion a while back. How I wasn't/aren't that compassionate a person, which being one of those regretable (but beautiful) asks, hit me a bit hard. Soon thereafter ceased my exploration of current affairs and what's going on in the world. I didn't recognise it as anything other than just reclaiming some more time. I'm wondering now if it was 'other'. So. It was my intention this week, to get back into watching the news. Downgrade the bifocalisation (there I used it!). My small thing. Watch it, allow myself to recognise, and dare I suggest feel it. Intentions are good things. Not so good if you don't follow through on them. I think I've watched the news once. I tried to read the paper - but felt really out of it and didn't have any background to get back into the what was going on. It shouldn't be hard, but it is. Time is a ridiculous commodity that's forever getting in the way. So, engaging with the issues that we should care about in the world - how do you do it?

Eccentric

Well, so much for promises. Any made on here seem to be as empty as my head is. Java Script Validation blah-de-blah gave me more trouble than I thought possible. But due to some very well meaning nerd friends (who tried to help - even dredged up someone from the past for me) but really one very cluey someone who saved my sanity, I got started and managed to work the rest out myself - which meant removing one form field because I (dare I admit it) couldn't be stuffed. It was a frustrating day really. I'm not sure what's happened with me and deadlines. I used to have things done well before the day and I find now that I'm cutting things down to about the hour - absurdly enough my marks haven't changed. Which leads me to wonder what I could've done with all those extra hours that I poured into 'perfecting the finer details'. The problem here is that being who I am, quite likes the finer details and the job not really well done isn't half as satisfying, nor does it sit as nicely with my conscience (or whoever happens to be on the blame plate.) Why the heck Rebecca are you up at this hour? You probably don't go around reading the "time I posted" information, but in case you do, here's some kind of explanation. I have had equivalent to approximately a litre of Coke, some fairy floss, a brownie... and mm yeah that's about it in the past 5 hours or so. That sounds pretty bad, now I write it out. Why. Truth be told, and hey Mum is going to read this eventually, so what. They've (That being the Parentals and the two little sisters) been away for the week and get back tomorrow. Mum Dad left a request that all the ironing be done by the time that happens. At about 7:30 this evening Laura and I happened to remember that we'd better do something about it. We unearthed a solution; went to the video (or should we start calling it dvd) shop up the road, to get out three possibly degenerative choices and capitolised on what sugar we could find. So after - Sliding Doors, Four Weddings and a Funeral -neither of which I'd seen before, the ironing was done. 50:50 split with a spill or few of coke and water (one of which was for the iron, one for myself). We then looked at the clock and decided to, "Why not watch the last". The third choice, was probably not exactly your typical hum... 20yrs/youth/adult choice. We had the old versions on video and loved them when we were younger and probably still own them. We also remember Mum reading the book aloud. We also, also hadn't bothered to see it when it was re-released. So, 5 Children and It. Freak variation, with the classic 'Eccentric' line which, coupled with the hour, had me laughing pretty hard. Odd though. Don't know if I really liked it that much. Not quite the magic the story used to have. It is now 2am (at least). I've worked out that I have to go into Uni tomorrow to hand in two assignments - Goodbye all plans of a relaxing 'at home' day. The one that caused the heartache earlier and the Folio for 'Foundations of Design' of which NO-ONE has been told a thing about, there is nothing about assesment up online at all, she hasn't mentioned a squeak and when we were going to ask her the tute was cancelled. All we all know is that we have to submit 5 images by some time on the 22nd of September, now today. As the situation pans out, I only really have 4 of these images as we had a substitute tutor for three weeks who took the class to new heights by creating his own cirriculum. So I have dredged up a 5th and can hopefully talk my way into fitting it into the bigger picture. Of which I have absolutely no idea how that is going to work and don't know that I will be able to when it comes to it. Oh, did I forget to mention - this assignment is worth 50% of the Subject. How much I love Deakin and it's P (see Myers Briggs) tendancies! I confess I am more worried about the one field I cut out of my form validation (assignment all up worth 10% of the subject) than that folio. I know she likes my work, so I'm hoping my hardest to lean on the 4 decent and definitely valid images. And I was going to go to bed early tonight...

Static and blog are antonyms

What a boring blog. Today I shall endeavor to throw a few posts your way. It is afterall, an exceptional way to procrastinate while I continue the horendous plough through some java script for my assignment due... um, tomorrow. I am far more of a fan of design than I am of coding. What fool told me I should have a little of the dry stuff to back me up and so chose subjects to match? The best news is that I am on holidays for a little over a week! And once this assignment is done. Oh wow! I shall let my mind run and my fingers go ballistic on this keyboard and read and do all manner of other things which I haven't quite worked out yet. Somehow amongst all the busyness, I have still managed to fit in reading some stuff. You can have a look here.

Go on till you come to the end

Unless some miraculous impartation of genius arrives just about now, you're going to have to content yourself with a 'doings post'. I've tried starting what I want to say on Community and what I want to say on what God's been pushing buttons in me all week but it's not working itself into any kind of reasonable framework. I think I shall start refusing to say, "It's coming" because I was all keyed up to write something the moment I got home and I sat down at the computer and started something that didn't flow and couldn't be finished. I have had - if I can count Friday, a most marvellous weekend. Friday was my chance to take a day for myself. Meaning: sleep the morning away, and be productive in doing all the little things I've wanted to do for ages. Things like giving myself some time to simply enjoy myself by reading more of a book that has very little relevance to life and absolutely no practical implication whatsoever. The evening was spent going to see Nacho Libre with Geoff. The movie was very stupid but funny as anything so it was quite an enjoyable experience. We then came home to my Mother's plea for a Boggle match with her, Dad and Lulu. Saturday Geoff and I went into the city, to have a look at the Charles Blackman: Alice in Wonderland exhibition, among other things. Very worth a look at, cheaper than Picasso - and dare I say it, better. Fantastic bright colours and big paintings. This one is in at the Fed Square in the Ian Potter Gallery rather than at NGV International. Had a wander in the Botanical Gardens as the weather was fantasic, then I took him down to Albert Park near where I used to work, had a coffee at Browns and walked down to the beach and got a few photos (which I may flickr soonish). Dinner back at Geoff's and then two 21st's. And today's doings can wait as they are pertinent I think to the post on community and beginings (or endings as the case may be) that refuses to be written. "Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop." - Lewis Carrol, Alice in Wonderland

We're There For You

So after trip to Anaconda to confer with Mick and Dan (and Laura - I was just driving) about a certain birthday present being 'joint bought' by 15 or so people for Marty, Laura and I wound up at Eastland. After some sock shopping (I'm being quite serious I really need some) and some looking around, there was a, 'Poor, silly person you left your lights on' announcement. This time the number plate was read out and it was all too familiar. Anyway, after calling home and realising that the parentals were at my sisters school interview, we waited and contemplated calling the RACV. Had a coffee and a pretzel thing. Dad called back and told me to call the RACV as it would be faster. They took about 5 minutes. I tell you what, I'm a huge fan! And that was truly the only remotely thing close to a drama today. My life wouldn't make a good soap. At least I'm getting my money's worth out of it, alright maybe it was a birthday present, but Laura, you should possibly start driving before you allow people to bother getting you any kind of roadside service insurance! Post with more thought coming! Maybe even tonight.

Trail through

triumph of the day: Getting some Java Script to properly validate after a very messy mess around in some code. random freak thing: Today I became an 'actor' for one of Jess' uni friends Analee mini movie. She sent me a text message saying I didn't have to really act. I ended up pretending to be dead, running away and falling down some stairs, in the view of a lot of people just passing by. Wow that girl owes me big time! enjoyable moment(s): Seeing Geoff this morning. Afternoon tea with Samantha where I talked my head off. We covered a lot of ground in 45minutes. low scumb fall to temptation: It's a difficult thing when you've been at uni all day and you have to come back through a food court, a maccas, a coffeeshop and numerous other food outlets on the way to your train. It's particularily difficult when you have to wait half an hour because you've just missed the last one. I managed to curb actually buying anything (like clothes) early on after starting at Deakin. By restricting myself to 'just looking'- I have about 20 minutes minimum to waste at BoxHill each uni day. There isn't anywhere except the food court to sit, so that's how I waste time. The last minute pass by Maccas/Gosh coffee is really surprisingly hard. I'm usually pretty good with how I use my money, but it's getting horribly easy to give in. I sucessfully refused getting anything (except a present for someone) which I was pleased about. I got onto the platform and some bout of insanity took hold and I 'had a look' in the food stall. $2.70 later I had some hot chips. I was immediately not impressed. I couldn't eat all of them and frankly I wasn't even really that hungry. I thought about it a lot on the way home. Too much maybe. Sometimes I do turn trivial things like that into much larger issues. After I decided it probably wasn't so much worth beating myself up over giving- and feeling decidedly not all that good for eating them in the first place, I thought about how I do spend money. I've been thinking about it a fair bit lately actually. I had a conversation with Jess W about money and spending habits - on her prompting about a week ago. God and money and how much we should 'consult' him before we spend. Everything? Yay/nay or is that too wishwashy? Or is it afterall the principle beneath. The conciousness/acknowledgement (or other word with 12+ letters that's relevant) of God. It's a well known fact that I'm a Dutchy stinge and it's a personal realisation that I've gotten far less concerned about it in the past 6 months - which I think is probably a good thing, because I know I've been far too tight fisted. When it comes down to it. I don't care a lot about money. It's not something I have an awful lot of in terms of 'Western gurus', but it's not something I lack. Care to start up a 'buy Bec a digital camera' fund? Don't. I'll refuse your money. I do think I'm hitting a bit of a point where it can get a bit trivial. I spend a fair bit of money on coffee - although I've found $1 coffee's now so that's alright. I often get out of bed too late to get enough food for lunch so there's that. And sure you can 'do it cheaply' BUT if I was less lazy and got out of bed sooner, it'd be wiser. So. From today or tomorrow perhaps. I shall be keeping better track of where the loose change is going. It doesn't hurt to be a little bit free occasionally, but the other shrapnel could be going somewhere better. It's also got just a little bit to do with good stewardship. But hey, that's a whole big book issue. Lets start with the surface level stuff. Grow up and realise that your theology should underpin your life Rebecca. anticipation: Tim's running young ad's tonight, I've got some inside info in whats going to happen. I've decided to hold off on posting any community related thoughts (which was the blog post that is coming) as I might just get a few more tonight. Here's to banding together!

A few links

A few links for those mildly design/art interested. And try the second one anyway, whoever you are. Daily Dose of Imagery by Sam Javanrouh - a photographers blog which I intend to keep an eye on. A is for Apple - try this one out! I'd bet this is one of the weirdest design/random sites out there. How's this for postmodern navigation? It's all rather disturbing. I don't want to know how long it took to make.

In a Tif

So, I spent 4 tedious hours today scanning in over a hundred of my slides. Every little problem I didn't anticipate came up to bite me in the bum. I managed to get hold of the slide template and the scanner was free. The computer was not happy with finding me on the network, I'd left my usb stick at home and had no blank cds. The template is due back tomorrow morning. I ran down to the studio and borrowed Matt's stick. 256mb, with some stuff already on it. So I scanned some, then crashed a classroom of 'typology showing students' a couple of times to offload onto my drive - which was having issues also. The usb stick went psycho and filled up with only 2.5mb spare even when I deleted the last lot, which would've left more than half the slides un-scanned. I had a moment of triumph when I worked out what was going on - more really that I fixed something I don't know why the heck was happening. I get home and spend ages getting them across from the ftp onto my computer because I want to be able to have a good look at them and put a few up. Sure, I've scanned them in at a mighty high resolution (as they are slides and really small and you want to get them up to beyond thumbnail size). That's fine. I saved them as .tif to attempt to keep as much quality as I could. Anyway, now photoshop is chucking a spaz and not letting me resave them as jpgs. even when I try to ferry my way around it. I can't help but thinking that this is something to do with the bit-depth, which I think was also very high. But why! It doesn't make any sense! And flickr claims to be able to read .tiff files (which I can save them as) and still doesn't like it! So, you'll have to be satisfied with a screenshot for now. I can't put them up on flickr until I work out what's going on. Any suggestions would be marvellous.

Rundown

Before the day ends, a very brief run down on the goings on of the last few days... Friday night: Last Youth night for the term - cooked spaghetti for the kids after nearly forgetting the frying pans. Excellent night with some good conversation and discussion. Laura ran the God spot and talked about Loving others. A personal 'funny' moment was explaining what 'fly off the handle' meant to a 12 year old... Yeah and they say the Message version is meant to be relevant! Saturday: Managed to avoid the mad house of getting things ready for Em's 18th. Went under the 'pretence' of gardening (so claims Mum) at Geoff's place - it threatened rain so we watched Garden State instead. Close enough. Did some gardening after the movie. Found: worms, snails, a slug, a very cool frog... and a lot of weeds. Came back home where people had already arrived. Em had a girly/pink (ugh) party with about 20+ girls. I think Geoff was a little overwhelmed but he can probably speak for himself. I found it highly amusing and the fact that all that pink was way too much for me, I don't want to know how Dad and Geoff were coping. I had to have a shower so left him out there with Laura LuLu to entertain him. Ate some party food and got out of there. Got to Burkie's 21st without getting lost. Saw a lot of gusheroodle people I haven't seen in a long time. Belle was there!!!! Geoff got to meet Paul and Burks. Funniest speech I think I've ever heard. Sang Happy Birthday and made the long trek back. Sunday: Overslept so came 20 mins late to church. To Ana's place afterwards with the crew for a BBQ. Few of us stayed for dinner - homeade pasta. I managed to touch Ana on the back about 3 times unintentionally, I don't think she was impressed. On drive back from dropping G home, God whalloped me hard with something (See previous post for vague references). Monday: Morning. Slight Embarassing moment where I find out something my mum, no wait, make that my WHOLE family knows. Huw (from uni) and I have a conference about course changing after I balk at the structure of BIM (Bachelor of Interactive Media) next year. I'm not keen on 3D animation let alone animation and so much of it is around that. Decide I sensibly should get out. I land on a very promising possibility at Swinburne Prahan - Communication Design. *Which I'll link when the Swin. website is working! It's more print, more publishing, graphic designy stuff and the 'big picture' elements. With some alternatives at Monash and RMIT. Need to get onto them soon and pull together some kind of folio. I almost definitely will be applying after I investigate a little further. Dinner out with Geoff at the Pig and Whistle. Very nice. Now. Crappy blog post. Bed *It is now working

A New Way

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." - Ephesians 3:16-19 "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything." - 1 John 3:16-20 "You're throwing your love across My impossible space You've created me Take me out of me into A new way to be human" - Switchfoot lyrics (A New Way to Be Human) I do not feel well at all. Not in the sense of sickness or tiredness. Simply in the fact that I am far too familiar with living my life out of my head. My relationship with God is much the time not much of a relationship at all. More of a knowing and getting stuck in that and not really understanding it in its fullness. I sometimes get to taste this foreign beautiful realm of feeling. It's been a very long time. It is curious to see what it takes to crack what feels like a major block in any true authenticity. It takes too much. I am glad of a God who persists .

Why I hope I do what I do

Tally-ho, it's late but this one can be posted now and the other one brewing (that is a post - and expanding in my brain at an ever increasing rate) can wait until tomorrow if there is time. I am beginning to think that I must look like a very approachable kind of person. Not that this is a bad thing, but when you start attracting those trying to convert you to xyz - it's a bit of a worry. I guess I'm a 'safe target'. So I was sitting having a rather good chai latte while I was waiting for the train (in to uni today to hand in an assignment) and this old lady is dragging her pale green old-lady shopping cart around. I moved my chair slightly to let her pass and she stopped. "I just have some magazines in my cart" I gave her a quizzical look while my mind was running through the reasons why she would be telling me that. She pulls out two thin magazines - rather shonkily designed, if I can say so. Very, very Jehovah's Witness looking publications, by that I mean it said so on the cover. "I just want to give you these" Out flew any reason and smart alec responses from my mind and I politely said I didn't really need them. She persisted. "I can take them, but I don't think I'll be reading them" "It'd make me happy if you read them" "Um... I already believe in God (etc...)" "No, this is different, it'll be quite different to what you've heard before this tells you the right kingdom way. You can just read one a night. " "Uh...well... I'll take them, but I wont be reading them" I took them out of her hands and said a very aimicable goodbye and as soon as she was out of sight went over and dropped them in the bin. Afterwards I was sitting thinking through further what was going on in my head at the time - the rather desperate, "Okay, what do I know about JW's and such" and about how it's really quite sad that they are so caught up in (hope I've got the right 'religion' here) earning their salvation. It's like being part of an impossible footy tipping competition. You never quite get things right. You just have to keep trying and trying. To steal a quote from Christina's blog,

"It may take us a lifetime of fishing to realise that there is a figure waiting on our shoreline, waiting for us to recognise who he really is. Waiting for us to turn from ‘earning’ to ‘accepting’. We can choose to look away, humiliated by our inadequacy; we can refuse his identity, preferring to retreat into our own concepts of how God should deal with us; we can bury our hope in activity. But that will never change who he is, what he has done and what he expects of us." - Geoff Bullock

Frankly, I really like the whole concept of grace. I have definitely been caught up in legalism banter before and played a pretty decent role in probably misconstruing quite a few things down that alley. I am so thankful that my reasons (when I truly consider them) for trying to live my life the way I think God want's me to live are not based upon earning his favor. They don't need to be. “Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.”- Psalm 143:10

How black my outlook

So you haven't heard recently of those picking on my poor car. I'm not sure if I mentioned the vegemite squashed onto my windscreen? Last night was by far the worst. We were cooking some meals with the rest of the crew (these meals go out to the community and it was what we decided to run with for this weeks young ad's thing). I did end up getting a face full of flour and wasn't happy at all about it - having contacts in. I did think that was the end of it. By the end of the evening my car (and Geoff's car - I guess you get targetted by association) had flour all over it. The cars were wet, due to this rare phenomeon we call rain. I was not impressed. It took a while going over with buckets of water to simply clear the windscreens enough to drive home. I am even less impressed now. I've just spent almost an hour with the hose, hot water and other stuff scraping this mucky pastey crap off pretty much everywhere. This hour could've been a lot better spent. I don't usually believe in retalliation but I've been seriously considering bending the rules this once. Not happy. Any idea's would be welcome, his name is Daniel if you would like to deal with him in person.

The Hub

Last year I had a class run by this guy (Mark Sayers) on practical evangelism. I now find out he blogs every so often. Some very interesting stuff about youth related mission.

Reunion

Some photos from the YITS reunion night can be found over on Tom's flickr account. This is Tom by the way - and me. We were 'nerd' friends (and hopefully a bit more than that) through last year. He blogs over here and lives much too far away to see even close to frequently. He's a funny man. If you ever get the chance ask to read his 'book' and tell him to hurry up and finish it.

Another equally gullible fish

Apparently my little sister nearly bothered staying up late just to see my reaction (which she predicted would be me 'close to wetting myself')... She didn't stay up. I did however laugh and laugh and laugh. A very well meaning (I'm sure) and usually very understanding/reasonable, wonderful relative of mine dropped by some time today and gave Mum four envelope's for us girls. I guess she got the gist that there might just be some boys round the place and it might be good for us to 'be aware' of certain things. Wow the phrasing in this thing is beautiful! So very, very wrong and so very funny. I couldn't stop laughing after knowing who it was from and seeing the first word that jumped out at me from the page - which to be quite honest was 'sex' (ooooh). Oh the moose line! Read and cry. "Why not prove your love by sticking your head in the oven and turning on the gas" < If that's not an Analise style line if I ever heard one! (And yes, the underlinings aren't mine, she must have gone to the trouble to photocopy it... Mum warned me not to be too harsh, which is why I've not named her... when it comes down to it, I really do think my Grandma is a very wise woman).

One's brain reels

"To live is to be slowly born" - Antoine de Saint Exupery

There were a couple of options in starting this - I could have afterall, written this post last night. The outcome would've been far more glum. I have been madly working on (and procrastinating) my next assignment by doing all kinds of fun social things and I'm sorely tempted to just get offline and immerse myself in The Moonstone (which happens to be what I'm reading at the moment) which isn't really social at all - nevermind, but for the sake of getting something down and while things are looking a little bit more like they belong in an optimist's world, I shall continue. If you go back a few lines to where I started, that quote, however beautiful, speaks pretty much to me of life in all it's pain and messiness. It might be a tad extreme to parallel my life exactly with that, but life is not neat. I guess the comforting thing about that quote if you run with the metaphor is that some kind of miracle is the end result. I know that life isn't all pain. Life isn't all horrible. Life is on the most part is quite good but for the sake of an argument I hardly need to make, there certainly are 'the pits'. If I wanted to keep running with ridiculous metaphors, I'd say that uni and the career thing is my pit and the moment and I get to wield this shovel and can't quite work out if I should dig myself into it or dig myself out of it. Early yesterday I had a fairly decent conversation with Adrian - who is my tutor for Studio and a fantastic guy, who remembers his students as humans. I was the only one around for the first 20 minutes or so and he was asking me how I was finding uni. I confessed again, (After last week's and previous miserable experiences) how uncertain I was about continuing the course. He asked me about my interests, an easy kind of question: writing, theology, photography, some multimedia stuff like blogging... and he did state pretty plainly that I should definitely go where my interests are. a) I'll enjoy it b) I'll be good at it because I enjoy it. And told me to find something that combined my interests - believe me I've tried - but I can't help thinking I'm looking down a hall way and only seeind doors instead of the birds-eye view. We talked a bit more about what I would want to do if I didn't stick with Interactive Media. A far more difficult question which I still do not have an answer for. As far as things play out there are a couple of alternatives. None of which I have yet taken the time to properly look into. A rough idea: Tabor to study more theology, my mind and heart would love it, but I don't know where it would take me, Teaching, but if I did that I think I'd want to wait a bit, Writing, I worked out probably 'no' to doing it as a course focused thing a while back, Work and delay all career moves which is not a good option and I shouldn't have bothered mentioning it. Last night (where the glum post isn't). I chanced across a couple of quotes that I have been familiar with from the past, both in actuality and themeatically.

"The place where God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." - Fredrick Beuchner "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Gil Bailie

Being where I am (BIM) does on the most part frustrate me incredibally. I think that I've talked before about time-wasting and how I don't feel all that intellectually challenged by the work and those around me at uni. It is wrong I think now, with 24 short hours of hindsight, to pick those quotes and the depth behind them and pin the label of career onto them. Which is what I sort of did in my tired state last night. Ultimately a lot of what I'd like to be on about isn't around career at all -I really couldn't care less about the piece of paper - but I do care about what I'm doing with my time. This casts things in a massively different perspective. This afternoon I said how scary it is how easily I swing from, "I need to get out of this course" to, "Yeah maybe I can do this". What I am doing is highly dependant upon the choices I make in regards to how I'm going to approach it. It is not senseless to pursue a career. It is not senseless to choose otherwise. It is thoroughly ridiculous to be sitting in something stuck in a rut of complaining about being there and not bothering to use that time effectively. It's also a very, very easy thing to do. If there is one thing you could pray for me at the moment, it would be about this - because regardless of whether I'm being intentional about thinking it or not, the people around me do not shut-up about talking about their dissatisfaction with everything they can find a name for, which essentially makes me think about it anyway. If you were to ask me which was my favourite subject this semester I'd be hard pressed to choose as I don't particularly like any of them that much. I would eventually settle on Systems Design, despite the horrible assignments, incapable tutors and the endless chatter during lectures. So, today the lecturer (She is fantastic) for Systems, digressed on this glorious tangent about paradigms and multimedia and other big exciting words like inoculate. I got all rather inspired and perhaps saw some light/possibilities at the end of the 'era' (ie: when I leave uni). It's no real secret that project management stuff/design does interest me, and the rest of the class I kept finding these weird parallels with the methods and techniques in designing systems and with life/God stuff/theology. So I left encouraged and with the idea that maybe I can stick with this afterall and maybe it is relevant. I do however need to decide to care and decide to get enthused about what's going on and clearly pick out what path I want to take within this massively massive field. And of course in the meanwhile, in the intervening time, in the duration of whatever I'm doing, I need to follow the golden rule of usability testing - doing it all the way through instead of just at the end when it is far too late. And by that I mean, keep living now how I believe God wants me to live and stop hanging so much off 'what happens when I get there'.

"It does one good to feel that one had still a brother who lives and walks on this earth; when one has so many things to think of, and many things to do, one sometimes gets the feeling: where am I? What am I doing? Where am I going? And one's brain reels, but then such a well-known voice as yours, or rather a well-known handwriting, makes one feel firm ground under one's feet." -Vincent Van Gogh

And thats the other half of the whole equation... Who am I 'travelling' with? But community and the like is encyclopaedic. Tacking something small and smartly ugly on the end can wait. It deserves it's own space.

Filling in

I am restless this morning. There are absolutely no conclusive reasons why I should be. So I am up and very awake and listening to classical music. Why shouldn't I blog? It would do to mention that we had the 10 year Aniversery/Reunion for Year in the Son the other evening. The hall at Tabor was packed out and there was this contagious buzz which made the introvert in me disappear for a good while. It was great to see the majority of the crew again. I am not pleased with myself that I hardly talked at all to Katie and Jo and couldn't even find them when I was leaving. I had FAR too many compliments comments about me looking different without my glasses. Tom caught me just before we went up to get food and we had a very decent chat - and I think he suceeded in getting me just about as close to giggling about something as I ever have. The other notable conversation of the evening was with Tony. I'm always grateful to not waste an evening small talking. I'd much rather use my time effectively on one person than ineffectively on twenty. The electricity in the area's grid went out just as the speeches really got going. So it was tea-light candles, desert and no hope of finding anyone in the dark for a good hour. I think it possibly improved the evening. The following morning Jess VW had planned for whoever of our year was sticking around to have breakfast together (a lot of them slept at Tabor). I took my sisters to work as I had gone home to sleep and arrived about 9:00am. They were all still in bed. I went and played the nasty "Wake up! I'm hungry" role. By 10:30 (no joke, it took them ages!) we were eating in the pancake palour after being joined by a very jovial (hehe) Sam - because Steve is over. Jess, Jane and Lex (that's Alecia to you) somehow ended up eating elsewhere... I can't say I was overly impressed at having to wait so long for food and the whole, it's all organised, wasn't. Spent the afternoon with Geoff. Where I showed him Yerring Station. Which was a pretty good way to spend a Saturday! An Indian evening at Kat's place where I got to meet more of Geoff's school friends. I've now met Beth quite a few times and already know Mick and Kat through church, so it's all pretty easy. Much fun, great food and the chocolate game. ...and, I really should get going or I'm not going to get breakfast before church.

Lukewarm living

I have moved myself out of doors to fully enjoy the first day of Spring. There are several things I should be doing - there always are. I have a washing basket full of books to put up on eBay and there's that storyboard assignment that's due on Wednesday. I could blog about meeting Burkie's Beth yesterday. It's definitely worth a mention and it was delightfully funny watching the two interact. It was good catching the Burks again and I really like Beth - if not for the primary reason that she's shorter than me ;P The reason that I came back on here, was to mention what we talked about on Wednesday night at Young Adults Small Group thing. Pete Downes made a 'guest apperance' comeback and did a mighty fine job of it. We began with the sweeping generalisation that about 50% would no longer be Christians by the age of 40 and looked at some of the causes. Namely life pressures, spouse choice, career etc. Then at the implementation of 'usefuls' that keep us going.

• Spiritual Mentors
• Discipline
• Community
• Accountability/peers
• Choice of Christian partner (if this is the avenue you happen to waltz down)

I have heard similar statistics before and as 'freakish' as it is, I find it a bit difficult to comprehend. I can't claim to have done things overly well. I know that how I approach life and God can get sloppy at times and I certainly don't get everything right but he is pretty well ever-present and whatever difficulty I have in comprehending him only very very rarely gets to the 'existence' question. I unfortunately can't claim never - but am in some ways glad, because doubts, although unpleasant can push you on to something better and make you rationalise and work out more of your faith and why you believe what you do. Complacency is by far greater the worry. Although I can see myself remaining a Christian I know how easy it is to let things get comfortable, to drop off the self-discipline means of actively seeking God - enjoying God. A friend of mine, Analise (I hope you don't mind) wrote this poem,

Unsettle our hearts Feel challenged Feel encouraged Feel like we will never stop Continue to grow Continue to learn In you About you Unsettle our hearts Not get comfortable Not get lazy Not get caught up To go Live Breathe With our all But Unsettle our hearts

Revelation 3:14-22 addresses this. "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth." (3:15-16) It's an interesting passage. Because of the whole 'cold is prefferable to lukewarm' thing. Christianity in a:

• comfortably numb
• going through the motions
• feet in two camps
• apathetic
• pious
• bland

sense is not much use at all. I'm kicking myself now that despite writing a few things down, I skipped over this bit - maybe because the discussion got too interesting. So why is cold is prefferable to lukewarm? I started a thread a week or so ago in Gush on Rededication and the part it plays in Christianity, with the quote:

"A real barrier preventing Christians from enjoying the rest that Jesus promised is self-effort. Many have been so conditioned to believe that they must, "Do something for God" that they are constantly struggling to do more and more. Many have rededicated self to God again and again. Yet self is what stands in the way of victorious Christian living. As long as we struggle to live the Christian life, Christ is hindered from living it through us." - Steve McVey

I am always a little skeptical of the whole altar call approach to re-dedication. Perhaps it has to do with my fairly emphatic views on emotional manipulation. I don't think the issue is so much a re-dedication but a repentance and alignment. Which may or may not be the same thing. It all depends on how you look at it. I think it's brilliant that the, stand at the door and knock passage, "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." (Rev 3:20) Is within the context of being directed at Christians. It's a bit sad that it gets so far removed from this context that we totally disregard it. I'm a huge fan of this whole passage (Yes, I'm still talking about the Revelation one).

"You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see." (3:17-18)

There's a lot more to Christianity than the going through the motions. A life of righteousness is both wonderful and excpetionally daunting. Certainly, God through his Son sees us that way without it we'd be screwed, but there's still that call to avoid the lukewarm living.

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples." (John 15:5-8 read more)

Be unsettled. And while you're at it, over on Matt Glover's blog there's a post that nice and relevant. Faith, Perspective and Passion.

Blogs

It's always pretty exciting when I hit on a new blog that I really want to keep tabs on. As you might know, I'm a pretty regular reader of the Boundless Webzine - which I find thoroughly thought provoking and often bring up their content. They play a large part in giving my mind/heart a poke which usually results in something I share on here. So much to my delight, this morning's check of my email bought to my attention that Boundless are going "Live". They're starting a blog. This means more 'articles', more often. Whoop-de-doo! Boundless Line While I'm talking about blogs, I might as well give you an insight into a few more that I've noticed recently. The Rebelution (yep it's aimed at teens but an interesting line up of articles and posts here) Between Two Worlds (only noticed this one today, apparently it's got a good rap.) My Life as a Christian (not sure how long this one will last on my rss, but something must have caught my eye or it wouldn't have made it there) Jason Clark (conversations about church) Missionary Blogs (I had a bit of a laugh -and I'm allowed to, because I was subject to this situation- but if you want to keep tabs on some stuff going on around the world, its probably not a bad place to start) and some that I've been reading for a while now Pro-Blogger (If you blog you should possibly read this now and then) Waiter Rant (For a laugh) Out of Ur (For reading when I'm not tired because there is some fantastic stuff here - it just requires a bit of brain) Girl Talk Solo Femininity and all that saying, my blogging'ness really is very passive. I read and seldom comment - something I should redeem. Please, please share any good ones.