In the dark

I was wondering what I'd put in here tonight. If I had done this a bit earlier it might have been more inclined to the pessimistic. Church this morning. Not terribly engaging. I got a little fed up with my friend making a few comments to me throughout the sermon but it wasn't facinatingly interesting at the same time. All stuff we've talked about before in Youth Min classes, Apprenticing and the Kingdom of God, this in regard to discussing church values etc. a continuation of last weeks sermon. Some talk afterwards of going to the young adults home group (that is only advertised by word of mouth) on Wednesday, it all depends on Ana calling me and giving me the inspiration to go. I don't know about the whole 'feeling welcomed' thing, it hasn't been overly apparent to me thus far on the peer level aside from the few I know through school. Went up to my Grandparents place for afternoon tea. Took the camera and went photo happy in my Grandpa's massive and almost immaculate garden. I can't be entirely bothered just yet making them small enough to keep flikr content so you can wait. I was looking through them after offloading them and was quite amazed at what I miss with just my 'natural eye'. Magnified detail is so perfect. Very pleased at some of the shots. Wasted some time watching some junk TV. Seeing as it is almost the Aus Idol final which I have only been watching in fragemented sections (due to severely waned interest after two years ago) and siblings minor obsessions with the show. Kate and Emily left. None of the songs were particularly inspiring. The single as pathetic as usual. I think that this show should be on its last legs. That and Kate should win. Who wants another R&B CD anyway? I don't think I'll bother watching any more ever. Eats time like nothing else. Better music can be found on those plastic circular things that are also rapidly going out of fashion. Someone explain ITunes and such to me. Useable without an Ipod? What's the deal. I have ITunes software on my computer for some reason and people keep mentioning it. How much do songs cost and how do you pick them etc... I am too lazy to research. Bring back the Amazing Race and I might start watching TV again beyond the 'real life' Medical shows (don't do drama - time issues). How sad. I should really watch the news and become re-informed with the world, I haven't seen it in months. I have been battling a bit with being 'engaged' when it comes God stuff - this has been over the past few weeks. The so called 'quiet time' has slipped into halfhearted attempts late at night. I changed tactic a little bit and did something a bit more creative as I'm simply getting really bored just sitting and reading/writing. I don't know how well it worked so to speak, but it got me intentionally talking honestly to God. File name: Visual Prayer Journal or some blah like that. Dump photo to fit the mood, write/type to God over it. Simple but different. This is not to say problems or issues are fixed. Prayer around me and God and the relationship there would be good. Its something I badly want and still find so hard to keep up. Frustrating. Tilla gave me this verse in my encouragement/concluding note. Matt 10:27 "What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs." I have been thinking about it.