Thank you

...I wrote this earlier, and I don't know whether or not, now to delve a little deeper into my mind or just let things be. God, today has been so full, there's so much I could think about, explore mer and learn so much from, but all I want to do is know that I am wholely and completely yours... to forget the intricracies of theologically and doctrinely correct nitpicking and to be with you. Be my safety. Everything in me just wants to say thank you... I could be as low as someone with their face pressed into the ground and never be able to praise you enough. thank you thank you thank you... the fullness of my day from the following: Church. It stood out to me today, as we were light on 'vocalists' although we had a fair ammount of other music, and about 3/4 of the way through music stuff one of the other guys (not on the team for this week) got up and helped them out. I liked that, it's funny but you don't often see expressions of genuine kindness even in a church setting. Sermon was on thankfulness. My mind must have been well ahead of me, because looking at it now, my afternoon was not really that full. Aside from walking the dog and reading my 'doctrine' book (homework) I didn't do a whole lot. My mind has been further playing on the worship conversation I had with other person a week back - I think because it stemmed from a discussion based on the dissatisfaction of my church. Align with the whole 'worship'/'passion' thing has been me noticing the sincere lack of joy in most of the members of my church. I am not surprised to some extent, the general population being well, older. The whole matter or not being surprised is kind of disheartening. Geoff said today, with the thankfulness stuff - why don't we show it? What about smiling? Clapping? It's OK to lift your hands. haha oh yes. If I struggle watching the lack of 'anything' as an introverted 'part of the congregation', how much more does he go through trying to put a little genunine (yes I like that word) enthusiasm into the place? I know God, you are working there, WPC has come a very long way from what it was a few years back, it's been through a rough patch. I just find it incredibally difficult to keep making these mental excuses for it when I feel like we are drastically missing something. When Jess called Laura this afternoon and said, do you and Bec want to come to 'Generate' to hear Christine Caine... my initial response was: no, not really - I've got stacks of other stuff to do tonight. I called Laura back about 2 minutes later and asked her what was being spoken about. Ah the irony, 'Passion'. God you have a strange sense of humor. I decided to go. mm. so now. after thankfulness, wandering thoughts and an evening of passion :). I am here. Have I come to any more conclusions on me, where I stand as a 'passionate person for God'? No. No further than to say, to be authentic is the most important thing. "It's who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That's the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship." -John 4:23 (MSG) This has been affirmed over and over. God, I went to tonight's thing with the intention of exploring more of 'worship' and being 'passionate' for you. Help me to live out life concerned with the 'whatever's'. You put in me a greater desire to work for you in the things that I am involved in now. I was encouraged for being right where I am. My perpetual want for stretching myself a little bit further all the time has wound me back to the position of again remembering the importance of now. Do I ever learn?