Because

I was quite delighted today to have my cousin (the best one) say she's addicted to reading my blog. Mum said something about the four-day lapse in thinking of checking to see if I was okay. Laura thinks I should change the font back to 'small' - anyone really disagree? I am still sick although I hope have gotten over the worst of it. The headache is down to an occasional temporary throb and sits as dull background the rest of the time. Not exactly sure how up to doing 'Messy Games' at youth tonight but I can only try. I've spent a bit of the morning and all the afternoon working on my website for some fictional bookselling company "Second Book on the Right" (here's to making up random names). Doing my usual overcomplicate things until realising - or actually reading the assignment info again, that I could ignore all php/java scripting entirely if I so desired. I could've saved rather a lot of time instead of stuffing around investigating things. So it's almost done, just need to throw in a few product pages and hope like mad that when it comes to client & server side scripting that I will have worked out what's going on. Not bad, considering most of this was done very last minute and I haven't really done a website in well over two years. Dreamweaver skills - as easy as the program is, came flooding back pretty fast. Yeah right to coding from scratch when it has to be done by Monday (or tomorrow morning so I don't have to think about it any more and can go be as social as I like). Some things are not worth the effort when there are perfectly suitable and allowable ways to do it simply. I was thinking about holidays yesterday, possibly because I want one so badly, and how when it comes to the actual event I spend it mostly bored out of my brain or annoyed at myself for sleeping far too long and wasting each day. I should plan myself a holiday. I've always said I'd like to take a few days or a week just for myself. Go down to the Rye house or similar and be a blissful loner for a little while. Maybe take a wanted friend (how rude). Bring copious ammounts of interesting books, good music, a camera and hope the sun's doing what it does best and filling that front room until there is no more space, then go to sleep in it without getting sunburnt and have no pressure from uni, from other people, from any 'to do' list - real or not real. And simply enjoy myself. Frankly I think my body is tired from being sick and my mind is tired from irrational stress about assignments that always get done on time anyway and from attempting to work out 'next'. Whatever other part of me left is tired - just because.