Another Sunday
Church was full, really full this morning. 400+ people there. I have been having severe doubts over whether I should be there. Yes the same old story again. The idea recently has been, get my P's and try out LBaps during the evening. I guess the problem of the whole matter is that I don't feel very welcome/involved at YVV. It's a great church, dont' get me wrong. I like how they do things, it's laid back, it's not hypey, it's got a good feel. There is zero things (pretty much) for young adults, and those there seem to be in fairly close knit groups. So I was feeling rather negative about the whole thing and have basically given it these last few weeks to somehow improve. Unrealistic somewhat foolish I guess, but yeah. Anyhow, Wednesday night is some intro night, where they'll have more stuff on all the things going on around the church. Apparently there is going to be something tried to be started up for young adults. I shall endeavor to go to that and give it a chance. After church, after a brief chat with Chris (did Yr12 with him) Laura and I were just sort of hanging around (oh I really do love being a twin sometimes, you've got that other person) and Daniel comes up. Major kudos (or whatever they call that crap) for him. Dan did YITS at Berwick. The same guy who tried his best to say hello to me up at Soul when I was asleep in the tent and heard someone calling my name and I couldn't work out who it was. He knows where I sit with the whole, "I don't know what to do about church" thing as he's had similar issues. It's incredibally nice, to have someone come up and just start talking to you when you're sort of new but not new enough for people to do the, "Hi, you're new" thing - which never really happened in the first place. So he's talking to me and Laura for a while, and then a guy called Josh (who turns out to be Naomi Greaves 'yr12 girl' younger brother) and Matt (Dans younger brother) and Isobelle (yr.12 who was chatting w/ Laura). So talking about uni and driving and all such things. Then I nearly died of shock when Evie (a girl whom Ana introduced me to a few weeks back - she'd be bit older than me) comes up and says hello. So inside, I'm doing the whole 'argh, this just makes descisions harder'. Did a thank you yell at Steve (Hazza) on his way out. So Wednesday night, will be a bit of a telling time I think and hope. I would genuinely like to stay at Vineyard. I'd like it if transitions were smoother. God's doing something (or trying hehe) to keep me there by the look of it. Or... actually I don't really have a clue. Prayer for this church mess would be great. A big bit of me is really missing what I somehow had at Wattle Park, just knowing people I suppose. Church is so much about community and relationships in leu of God and his love for us collectively. It would nice not to feel an outsider. So much is up in the air.
posted by Bec @ 2/05/2006 01:50:00 pm 
5 Comments:
I know the delima you are facing with church, i;m currently moving churches, because the church i tried to go to just didn't seem to be open to me. I was so surprised that a church with a decent amount of youth weren't open to 'outside' people like myself. Anyways what i has wanting to say is if you do love your current church (like it sounds you do) see what things you might be able to do there. There probably isn't Young Adult type activites coz there isn't anyone that has out their hand up.
" See the need and fill the need, or find a way to have it filled"
Just a thought
It's not as if I love it really. I like it, I think the church is a good place, does a good job. But I see minimal area's/places where I can I guess serve. I do not want to be leading something else (like young adults) as I do not think this is where I should be. I already have far too much on my plate. They have zip in the way of multimedia related stuff - and to be honest running powerpoint or the data projector up the back does not thrill me.
I've done kids stuff before, and I last a while and enjoy it a bit - but it takes you out of church and the information/learning you recieve on any given Sunday is limited enough without something getting in the way.
Running something would be the way to go. But its not exactly the least daunting task particularly when you are a newbie, and have curious trouble relating to many individuals a significant proportion of the time.
I dont want this to read as a pity party.
It's a valid and good suggestion. It's more the fact that I cant find something in me with a need to match in that church just yet. Having no social/support network does not help.
"Having no social/support network does not help"
know what thats like too, it sight explain somewhat my most recent Blog entry (amoung other things)
hey bec.
some thoughts.
Be loyal to your church. dont just look for a place where you will fit, or where you can serve. look and stay with a group of people, and become family. this may seem hard, as your only newish at vinyard, but it will probably become easier when you get to know more people.
and about serving in the church, what makes you think you NEED to serve in a church? sure, people should serve in a church if there is a need, and if they can help. be open to the possibility that God might, in fact, want you to do something different to what you would normally do (as in technology related). or maybe, God might want you to serve outside of the church (shock, horror no! :P).
bec, i wish i could relate. i love my church, and the people there. i dont feel particulary fed there, but im not going to leave it any time soon. my church needs me, and im not going to abandon it when it does.
i really pray that you do find a church like that bec. but you might need to stick through months, years even, of not fitting in, before you realise that, in fact, it has become your home.
[/rant]
I am slightly of the bias that everyone should serve in their church - in some little way. It's called community. I don't want to be a miss passive.
I do serve outside of church (shock horror :P)
Also - loyalty, yes but to something I don't have a compulsion to be loyal to just yet? Not sure about that.
Abandoning is one thing, but sticking it out when it's not filling what church should be is totally different.
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