Comings and goings

Well, I got online (having gotten home at 10:10pm)specifically because I wanted to blog. My shoulder is too sore to journal, hence typing the better option. I am quite awake. I think I have reverted back to being a bit of a caffine addict (not good). I haven't had coffee in a while, it has been tea. Tea has more caffine right? This is so that I am not as fixated on coffee (which I have to admit often smells better than it tastes) - which I do tend to drink when I'm feeling 'low', and I wanted to reduce caffine intake. Logic being, no coffee = less caffine. It sure doesn't work that way. Had two cups of tabor tea in the space of about two hours(the coffee is crap, even if you buy it and if you have coffee it needs milk which I'd rather not steal of the poor very suspecting boarders). Tea is OK black. I have been half dead all day. I woke up wide awake - if you know that feeling? Was practically, "Ready to conquer the world" to quote Jane. By the time we had driven to Tabor I was as flat and dead as if I'd had only 4hours sleep. In reality I went to bed early last night 12:30 or so. I didn't have anything remotely caffine related over breakfast. Do you think I have a problem? Returning back to this evening however, Had the famous Caf's chicken burrito for tea. I'm pretty friendly with Katie (not YITS Katie), so it's become a bit of a standard - things like she knows I have no tomato but still the salsa (a little strange). I'm going to miss Katie. Evening class with Warwick. We spent the entirety on Community which was very interesting. Some stuff around Acts 2:42-47. A comment on Pre-1950's life that's community pretty much reflected what I grew up with re: missionary community. Spent some time talking to Anna (the only non-yits female doing youth min.) Been slowly getting to know her. I confess I'm fractionally annoyed that yits'ers and non-yitsers of that class: Anna and four other guys are a bit seperated. So there was stuff on individualism and our society which I did want to explore tonight in more depth, but I'm a bit stuffed so it can wait. It did bring thoughts I've been having lately about really wanting to move out. It is not feasable financially and uh, driving wise at the moment. But I would really like to live with a group of people before I am stuck doing the 'live at home until married' thing. That would be missing a massive part of life that I would like to experience. It's not that I haven't intended not to move out before. I would LOVE to move out, I would I think, thrive. But yes, there is more to do than just serve your own 'I need my own space' needs by chopping a few apron strings. Right, moving backwards in the day. Group Focus was a bit different in the fact that we split the Yellow and Red girls and half the guys, so that Red could go to visit Urban Seed in the city. I however am in Yellow so get to experience that next week. Our small group (we somehow ended up with only a few) did 'Foot Mandala's' with Dee someone or other and Tilla. A little hard to explain without it sounding wierd. I was a bit 'Right...? What's with this, this seems just a bit strange.' I am very against anything remotely new-ageish as mmm that kind of stuff just feaks me out. Basically draw your foot in a circle. Then go mad with paint/pastels/textas/anything... and draw your journey thus far. Then you talk later about symbolic stuff or um stuff that Dee ask's qu's about (into art therapy) which was quite insightful for some. Anyway, below is mine (click for bigger) I can't be too bothered explaining it as I don't fully know if much of it has meaning. There is obvious stuff in there re: Solomons. My structured/planning deal went out the window and I just started drawing random stuff and freaking myself out by using a lot of different colour - where I would normally just stick to a few. So in that it was a good 'be spontaneous' excercise for someone who just isn't. It still however turned out looking like it somehow fits, which surprised me. Many of the issues I maybe tried to depect have already been worked through a fair bit, some still an ongoing thing perhaps, but yes. And that was my day, aside from a lifeskills class about your 'calling' and developing a personal mission/vision statement all relating to an assignment due in a few weeks. I was mostly asleep so I dont know how much sunk in - sorry Rowan (although you don't really read this). No... that was not my day. Being in yellow I am split from the majority of people I hang around with more: Katie, Jo, Jess, Sam, Alecia and Dave and Tom and... well yes. Hence I got to have some conversations I might normally not. I didn't hang around with Elyce as I thought I might, instead I had a chat to Jess C - which was alright, she's a fairly guarded person, which I confess does open the opportunity for asking probing questions which I do like to do. I also had a good talk to Kat. First part was just about stuff, some of which came up today during foot mandalas which clarified a heap to me about her mood yesterday. Secondly I possibly infringed on an area Jess and Kat's miscommunication (which is something I spot in people miles away)around doing a 'yearbook thing'. I treated the situation carefully without incriminating Jess, but didn't however run it past Jess first - which I knew wasn't good as soon as I opened my mouth. Stupid Bec. Jess was a tad cranky. I think I possibly clarified things in Kat - hey it made her talk to Jess about it. but yes. Not smart of me. That's me sticking my nose in where it doesn't belong. Maybe I shouldn't try solve the world's problems. Something Jess said the other day, walks into my room. "Sometimes Bec, I can't imagine what kind of guy you'll marry." I am not unused to those comments. Never entirely helpful to get them. I've given up trying to explain what I do not know and so just raise my eyebrows at her. I have not really worked it out myself so I don't attempt to continue the conversation. Hmm anyway. Goodnight all. Work tomorrow and then Friday free!!!!!!! Ahhhh :D Morning tea with the lovely Sam, then to pack my bags, head to YITS family and friends night, and then down to Rye. I need this weekend to stop.